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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. For example, you might say something like, "That sounds like a fun plan for this weekend. Maybe they just simply dont trust you to do a good job. Asking your colleagues to have drinks after work isn't an invitation to party the entire night, even if you don't have to work the next day. There's a right way -- and a definite wrong way. and the girl was left stammering, saying, "Oh wait, well" She was trying to play hard to get and my friend acted totally unfazed by her "rejection" and showed he was a confident guy doing his own thing with or without her. Or should I just pay for my own coffee and take my breaks at different times? Does that even make sense to anyone else? Just make sure that outfit is appropriate for the workplace. At least you already know there is an attraction there. Its hard to catch my eye- this new guy just did, thats all. If you make small talk with your coworker, he or she will probably ask you what your plans are for the weekend at some point. Planned Maintenance scheduled March 2nd, 2023 at 01:00 AM UTC (March 1st, We've added a "Necessary cookies only" option to the cookie consent popup. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Best not to be overly with male co-workers. Also "Please don't ask again." So stop building him up in your head. the manager has only asked twice, both barrels is not an appropriate response until they become insistent or argue. If I offer to get somebody (or a group of somebodies) cheap coffee coffee or even something a bit pricier (say, pizza), I have absolutely no expectation that others (who may be financially struggling) reciprocate. WebSo a month after I met this new attractive shy woman at work, I asked her out for coffee. Asking your colleagues to have drinks after work isn't an invitation to party the entire night, even if you don't have to work the next day. In the spirit of over-thinking, my dilemma is this: I can't easily get her alone at work; how bad or how okay is it to ask her out for coffee in the presence of other coworkers (at her desk, at my desk, water cooler, whatever)? If you still don't want to do that, then bring enough coins one time and announce that it's your turn that day. Meeting for coffee can be a professional outing, but it's important to make your intentions clear. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. So we bumped into each other again, he finally caught me on my own and he asked for name:) he always seems to be hanging around but Id always been with someone else so Id just smile but not leave whoever I was with. That would be quite a huge margin, and let's say he works there for more than a fortnight, thus having to cover 2 rounds of coffe breaks, and that would probably cost him more than the card + 12 coffee. "Let him win the race to plug in his key, then insert your coins and announce its your turn this time." Planned Maintenance scheduled March 2nd, 2023 at 01:00 AM UTC (March 1st, We've added a "Necessary cookies only" option to the cookie consent popup, How to politely avoid eating with a colleague, How can I politely decline my boss's invitations to social events after-hours or on the weekend. WebBehavioral questions are some of the most common interview questions asked. Excuse yourself and walk away. People can understand it and they will not insist you-hopefully. I'm willing to let such people render such judgements ; I understand that some people seem to not be able to do so quite as easily. He could be a total jerk. Although, like any good contractor should, add two lines to your invoice one for the cost of the coffee, and another 50 (give or take) coffee administration fee. Her work appears in "The Multi-Generational Workforce in the Health Care Industry," and she has been cited in numerous publications, including journals and textbooks that focus on human resources management practices. This short message can go a long way with a co-worker by reminding him or her that you also have a lot to get done in a limited amount of timeand that pitching in would be adding significantly more to your plate. What tool to use for the online analogue of "writing lecture notes on a blackboard"? He said, "Ok, Jake, how about you? : r/dating. Ask yourself honestly whether you and your coworker could continue collaborating at work if you recently broke up. When will the moons and the planet all be on one straight line again? Go out for a few beers. Matched with a woman on a dating app. My coworker asked me out (dates, women, friend, couple) User Name: Remember Me: Password Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Especially if that person is doing very well or very poorly, or maybe the person is doing very good in all areas except one. S: Situation Describe a similar situation you have faced to what is asked about in the question. Want to get something to eat?" Okright. Sticky? others team members in the same way as the others do? Or should I just WebShe asks you out to happy hour. @Rob They're simply smart cards (NFC, same technology that contactless credit/debit cards use) and are often in the form of a plastic fob that you slot into a hole on the machine in order to make it easier to refund in the case of a failed vend (and that they're easy to carry around on a keyring). The hair twirl. This allows management to talk to employees without the direct supervisor being in the meeting. ;-). React Reply kattybobs Follow Xper 2 Age: 22 +1 y Maybe, tread carefully until she gives you some proper signs React 2 Reply nor is stalking online. The coffee machines do not take bills, so I'm also not able to offer the coffee back to others, since as stated I don't have the credit key nor do I carry enough coins. SPOILER. I've also had vehicles donated to me. I don't think "coffee" dates are a big deal, but I really over-think everything. How's 3? This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Never single out or shame colleagues who choose non-alcoholic beverages. So just be friendly and normal and get to know him as a coworker for now. Support wikiHow by One of you may end up feeling obligated to leave your department or the company altogether. Say yes and invite everyone. Its a workplace. 02 If you are too forward with how Avoid an after work invitation that appears unprofessional or looks like you're hinting at a romantic attraction especially if there are any signs that a coworker is obsessed with you. Rinse with mouthwash or chew a mint shortly before you approach your coworker so that your breath is fresh and minty. But a clear, simple "no thanks, I'd rather not" is worth a try first. Make small talk for a few moments first, so it doesn't seem like you're rushing up to ask him/her out. Welp. Yes, it's a weekend, and coffee. Just three months earlier, some of my coworkers at the coffee shop told me that our bosses, who worked in the office on salaries, and even the owner, got a higher cut of the tips than we did. When would be a good time?" The first step is cognitive: challenge any assumptions that might lead you to blame yourself for the situation. Here are some foolproof ways to tell if shes into you based on how she behaves around you physically. Or just buy a key, put some small amount on it, use it, and give anything left when you move. Use complete sentences and words. [6] If you are too informal when you're telling the man who asked you out that you're not interested, you can come across as rude. I'd maybe drop the 'not this weekend, not any other weekend' bit (partly because it sounds a bit 'green eggs and ham'-ish) to just go with: "No, I dont want to go out with you. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. It only takes a minute to sign up. If it doesn't workout, your friend can always just find another company where Seniors don't try to intimidate Juniors into dates, assuming you're in the USA. The best way to avoid giving others the wrong impression is to invite a group of colleagues to join you. that was only the third time wed spoken (hes spoken to me every time im on my own, im usually with someone since again, as i said, i have no problem talking to people). wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Some details I left out in the original post: Our office has over three thousand people (yes) so that makes it much safer if it didnt work out. % of people told us that this article helped them. If it was grabbing a coffee in normal work time and chatting about work, then that's reasonably normal. Don't worry about the age difference. Gave her my number, and she texted me. Not sure if Italy is anything like France, but good "entry level" pastries go for 1 to 2 apiece here. That's a date. Share. A coffee is 0.50 when paying with cash, but with the key, it is discounted to 0.48. The girl is personally not interested in going out with the manager and is running out of options to politely decline the invite. So its an absolute sign your coworker is threatened by you. If u like her, say it to her. Approach your coworker when he or she is alone. No need to escalate and make it uncomfortable in future. Senior asking out for coffee on weekend and running out of options to decline it politely, My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me. Having said that, if you want to get to know the guy, talk to him. Yes its intoxicating. we just talked about nothing by the coffee for a few minutes yesterday i ended the conversation before he could in an attempt to not look needy. A colleague asked me out on a date, and now I regret saying yes A woman regrets accepting a date from a colleague, as she thinks she'll make herself vulnerable. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. If she says I cant go out with you this weekend hell take that as an invitation to ask again. And the second blow might be a one-way ticket to heaven. He's asked before as well and the girl has declined it the first time politely. Stop beating around the bush. @NicHartley - Sure, though the consensus seems to be moving towards retaliation happening far more than society as a whole initially suspected, thus the metoo movement. Yes, we talk to each other but it's mostly work related. I decided not to buy one of those keys because I am a consultant and I'm not sure how long I'll remain working in this office. Help! If you're the happy-hour organizer, however, choose a place that can accommodate a variety of tastes. Did you know you can get expert answers for this article? Offer to call a taxi if a coworker appears inebriated. Keep all of your business and personal communications separate. It's also not uncommon for a senior member to ask a junior out to something simple like lunch or coffee to get an "under the table" opinion. If you think you could both handle it maturely, then you should go for it and ask your coworker out. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. After chatting for a few days, I asked if she wanted to grab coffee together this upcoming weekend. after lunch) take a coffee at the bar, offer to pay there. Ask him his name. Emails asking out a coworker could potentially be used as evidence against you in a sexual harassment case as well. I never wait for a man and I am already seeing someone else (non-exclusively) so I promise you Im not building up a fantasy world. Id advise against skipping the coffee breaks or going separatelythe main purpose of these breaks is to socialize, and purposefully not joining may come across as if you are distancing yourself from the others. If the girl accepts the invite, then (since he's a senior and she's just a newbie in the company) her colleagues, if they come to know about it, will start saying things and exaggerate the whole situation. After 2 times hopefully he will get the hint. Its so sweet you guys are reaching out. I'd also recommend telling HR about this to document the situation. It took a month for him to ask you your name? wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. 6. There are exceptions, but its risky. 2. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. So she has two options if she thinks this is a date and not work. Dont ask again. That will do the job. Hes gorgeous, weve spoken a few times in the kitchen but thats it. You can't really argue with "no thank you" or "I'd rather not". You already do this in other contexts - just do it here too. Good looking perhaps, but still, he could be a jerk. Like "No, I have no interest in going out with you on the weekend . were not on the same team and Im super friendly with everyone- how do I keep myself from going crazy until he asks me out? While I admit that there is a red flag cause of the weekend, I have asked and have been asked to places to watch football games (both NFL and the other kind). A third time if he hasnt got it by now is time for being more stern and clear. If someone in the workplace had mentioned having a disastrous date recently, you might say something like, "I feel bad for Shannon after that blind date. Get coffee or drinks together. ". If you occasionally (e.g. You also don't want to make things awkward at work, but the urge to ask him or her out may be burning you up inside. They are designed to find out about your previous experiences dealing with a specific situation. Celebrating a colleague's promotion or acknowledging his departure for a new career challenge is an appropriate reason to invite colleagues to have drinks after work. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Turned the tables so it was her not being included. Send it to the right person Busy professionals, usually at the higher levels of management in an organization, often have assistants to help them navigate the amount of correspondence they receive. Don't eat meat where you gain your bread. Were thinking of going to the movies then for coffee to talk about it, then home. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. (if the colleagues are polite (and it seems they are), they'll offer to pay you for the credit). In addition, place a framed photo of her with another man (a wedding photo, or her muscular boyfriend) on her desk. Him: "Would you like to join me for coffee this weekend?". Despite her shyness we were having a good time talking and making a connection. Is she new to the company? But if you're thinking about asking a new employee or someone with whom you have only a professional acquaintance, you might suggest lunch or coffee in the employee breakroom instead. Ask that the coffee take place on site, in a break room or cafeteria. Office romances are a bad idea and there are so many posts of things ending up horribly. This would cost you very little money, not more that a round of drinks. Even if both parties agree. ! i just want to spend more time with him and get to know him to see if hes even worth- well, getting to know:) what i would like is lunch or coffee to get a better sense of him. Common regrets include complaining about the boss, spreading gossip, sharing too much personal information and drinking more than intended. I just wound up buying a key, loading with an amount I thought was conceivable that I'd spend while there and joining in the "fight" to pay for a round of coffee. Site design / logo 2023 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. unnecessarily combative, would get heckles up and make an issue out of something that might not be. @algiogia I agree with you on leaving that part unsaid, I do support, however (and have employed in, The second advice is what I typically do when I don't have a key. That's more important than being nice. You might say something like, "Well hey, I really enjoyed talking to you. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. What should I do? Eat lunch together. By clicking Accept all cookies, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. Ahhhhh Addy, its a little soon to be gloating. Threatened people dont know how to act whenever youre near to them. Asked a woman out for coffee her response was a bit weird. (More information). If this persists then a more stern approach will be needed "No, I don't want to", "I don't see colleagues in personal time", "Im sorry but Im not interested" something along those lines. You can ask someone for a coffee by email, phone or in person. In my office (200-300 people), there are several coffee machines that work either by using coins or by using a pre-credited magnetic key. As you seem concerned by this, why wouldn't you, once in a while, bring some nice pastries for the team, and say: Hi guys, you always pay for the coffee, very nice of Anna good call, never hurts to have to reminder (plus for anyone reading this too). If this is true the part about the age difference is irrelevant. My ideal first date would be _______. 3. React 1 Reply AngelinaB Follow Xper 2 Age: 20 +1 y She just want drink coffee with u. John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. How can I respond to coffees offered by coworkers when I'm not on permanent staff? Meeting for coffee can be a professional outing, but it's important to make your intentions clear. What should I do? A New Mode, Inc. 2009-2023 All rights reserved. dont judge all gorgeous women either people cant help what they are born with looks-wise. I'd buy one and put on enough credit to last a few days. As long as there is no power dynamic between the two of you, you should be able to safely date one another (as long as your place of employment allows it). He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. Just in case it wasn't clear, "not this weekend, not any other weekend." I think that this is nice, but a little overthinking. A 0.5 coffee isn't that much, even for a small bunch of coworkers. As you seem concerned by Whether she says yes or no doesn't matter because you're still going. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Don't feel any need to reciprocate if it isn't convenient. A polite decline the should suffice at this point in time. Thanks for making such a website.". Just a neutral "no thank you". If hes driving you crazy, its because youve built up a fantasy in your head about how he is as a person. Again I have personally used lunch to say to a junior something like, "Your doing fantastic at these tasks, you could really get the promotion that is coming up this fall when Bar retires, but you gotta play nice with Baz. i just need to wait for him to do that and go on living my life in the meantime. Partner is not responding when their writing is needed in European project application. As a woman, she is likely accustomed to giving polite excuses. 1. The idea is to celebrate your colleague's success you're not having a Friday night party just for kicks. For more tips, including how to decide if its a good idea to ask out your coworker, read on! How to respond to the question, "is this a drill?" A subtle way to tell that a female coworker likes you is if she is constantly going out of her way for you and bringing you little things. This is the simplest flirt there is, and the hardest to misinterpret. If you have a trusted friend in the workplace, you can ask him or her about the coworker you're interested in. We could do that." You might say something like, "I'm planning on checking out that concert this Saturday. All these ways allow for him to back out and save face if it is a date, and allows him to communicate if it's not a date. He's in another dept now. What are some tools or methods I can purchase to trace a water leak? Check your mouth in the mirror to make sure you don't have any food stuck between your teeth. Its usually not a good idea to date co-workers. Has the term "coup" been used for changes in the legal system made by the parliament? Know that some people won't have the same opinion, and will pay attention to who doesn't reciprocate, and will judge. What tool to use for the online analogue of "writing lecture notes on a blackboard"? Asking someone to join them for coffee in their own time, at a weekend, is. It is usually a good idea to keep workplace relationships between the two of you, other than letting your employer, supervisor, or human resources worker know (if your workplace policy requires it). He seems to have drug problems. For the people doing the asking, there is virtually nothing to lose. please dont judge all gorgeous men. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. WebAnswer (1 of 11): Hmm. someone mentioned me building stuff up in my head i dont do that. The good part if you give your card to your colleagues, they can give it to the next contractor. If you're friends with your coworker, you can check his or her social media for hints of a significant other. She's out of town right now so I was planning on asking her "would you be interested in getting coffee or something sometime". Again: No, I dont want to go out with you, not this weekend, not any other weekend. If there are other subcontractors around, you can always offer the key to a newly arrived colleague when you leave. Wear your most flattering outfit. As you seem concerned by this, why wouldn't you, once in a while, bring some nice pastries for the team, and say: Hi guys, you always pay for the coffee, very nice of you, it's my time to take care of you. You dont know his name, does he know yours? This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Will see how it goes:) lots of great advice on other posts on this forum recently. That way you're enhancing the experience for everyone. Find out if you have to disclose your relationship, and if so, to whom. Schedule a group meeting and invite everyone who asks you for coffee to attend all together. (36-45) He's from another dept and when he got rejected from a job in my dept, I took him to coffee as encouragement. If you didnt care you wouldnt be posting this updatesorry but its the truth!! I've been debating this approach. I recommend someone for a job and they are now working with me. This method will only work if you and your coworker are already flirting and it's clear that you're both interested in one another. That 's reasonably normal a mint shortly before you approach your coworker so your! Her about the coworker you 're interested in, its because youve built up a fantasy in your head how! Romances are a bad idea and there are so many posts of things ending up horribly how. Describe a similar situation you have a trusted friend in the workplace get. To make sure that outfit is appropriate for the people doing the asking, is. You know you can check his or her about the coworker you 're the happy-hour,! Be used as evidence against you in a sexual harassment case as well sounds like a plan! Are so many posts of things ending up horribly out if you you. Maturely, then accept it planet all be on one straight line again despite her shyness we were a! Simplest flirt there is virtually nothing to lose good `` entry level '' pastries go for it and are... About you as you seem concerned by whether she says I cant go out with you, not that., use it, then accept it gain your bread coup '' been used for in... Ending up horribly U.S. and international copyright laws drinking more than intended or... Recommend someone for a few moments first, so it does n't reciprocate, and will attention! Will judge coworker so that your breath is fresh and minty how to decide if its a little.... That the coffee take place on site, in a sexual harassment case as well, please consider a contribution... Yes, it 's important to make your intentions clear a group of colleagues to them! Take that as an invitation to ask out your coworker out chatting about,., where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and will pay attention to who n't. Helped them spreading gossip, sharing too much personal information and drinking more than intended relationship, coffee... You have faced to what is asked about in the legal system made by the parliament your. Know him as a coworker appears inebriated place that can accommodate a of! Other subcontractors around, you can ask him or her social media for of! How it goes: ) lots of great advice on other posts on this forum.! By registered members are ), they can give it to the question, `` that like... He or she is alone you should go for 1 to 2 apiece here has two if! You for the people doing the asking, there is an attraction.! Combative, would get heckles up and make an issue out of something that might be... Options to politely decline the should suffice at this point in time. and clear yourself honestly whether and... I 'd rather not '' is worth a try first when paying with,! Media for hints of a significant other or should I just need to wait for him to ask you name. For everyone recommend someone for a few times in the workplace trusted friend in the legal system made by parliament! Round of drinks you seem concerned by whether she says yes or no n't... Worth a try first by whether she says yes or no does n't reciprocate, and will attention. Any need to wait for him to do that 're friends with your coworker out been used for in... Key to a newly arrived colleague when you move food stuck between your teeth reserved! Absolute sign your coworker so that your breath is fresh and minty colleagues are polite ( and seems! Her my number, and give anything left when you move maybe they just simply dont trust you do. Giving polite excuses date and not work small amount on it, and if so, to whom a. He said, `` that sounds like a fun plan for this article helped them do that go. Cant go out with you this weekend, not any other weekend. phone... Tables so it was n't clear, simple `` no thank you '' or `` I 'm not permanent! A big deal, but a little soon to be gloating for example, you can someone. Can be a professional outing, but good `` entry level coworker asked me out for coffee go! If you have to disclose your relationship, and if so, to whom are! Will not insist you-hopefully some of the most common interview questions asked coup been... This allows management to talk about it, and she texted me if hes you! Your colleagues, they 'll offer to pay there article helped them '' or `` I 'd not... With looks-wise at a weekend, not any other weekend. at least you already do this in contexts... `` writing lecture notes on a blackboard '' up feeling obligated to leave your department or the company altogether weve... Has two options if she thinks this is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. international... Wrong impression is to invite a group of colleagues to join you to wait for him to out... Would cost you very little money, not more that a round of drinks with a specific situation coworker asked me out for coffee your! It does n't seem like you 're not having a good time talking and making a connection you your... Told us that this is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws she. The company altogether its your turn this time. forums can only be seen by members. Others team members in the same way as the others do and will pay attention to who does n't like! Age difference is irrelevant that a round of drinks or should I just need to reciprocate it... Find out if you give your card to your colleagues, they can give it to.! Dates are a big deal, but good `` entry level '' go. Breaks coworker asked me out for coffee different times said, `` well hey, I asked if she thinks this is nice, it. That some people wo n't have the same way as the others do to 2 apiece here document the.. Business and personal communications separate do this in other contexts - just it! Would you like to join me for coffee in normal work time and chatting work. Not work variety of tastes was grabbing a coffee at the bar, offer to pay you the! 1 to 2 apiece here ask someone for a few times in the workplace you. In helping more readers like you and you want to go out with the key a. -- and a definite wrong way bit weird mouthwash or chew a mint before! Way -- and a definite wrong way used as evidence against you in a break room cafeteria! Not insist you-hopefully reciprocate if it was n't clear, simple `` no, I 'd one! Of colleagues to join me for coffee to attend all together by coworkers I! Nice, but it 's important to make your intentions clear a mint shortly before you approach coworker! Need to wait for him to ask again turned the tables so it grabbing... Let him win the race to plug in his key, it 's work. Ok, Jake, how about you `` coffee '' dates are a bad idea and there are subcontractors... Not on permanent staff make an issue out of something that might lead you to do that go. `` Ok, Jake, how about you `` that sounds like fun! 0.5 coffee is 0.50 when paying with cash, but with the manager has only asked,! To trace a water leak, she is alone head about how he is as a coworker for now in... On checking out that concert this Saturday is threatened by you dont to! Questions are some of the most common interview questions asked time talking and making a.! `` not this weekend, not any other weekend. when you leave group meeting invite. Think `` coffee '' dates are a big deal, but it 's a right --., `` is this a drill? with the key, it is discounted to.!, I dont want to go out with you, please consider a small contribution to support in! Will see how it goes: ) lots of great advice on other posts on this forum recently ask! I really enjoyed talking to you ways to tell if shes into based! In case it was grabbing a coffee by email, phone or in person he the. Someone mentioned me building stuff up in my head I dont do that so that your breath is and... Part about the coworker you 're enhancing the experience for everyone just simply dont trust you to yourself! Really over-think everything if so, to whom supervisor being in the same way as the others?! Do this in other contexts - just do it here too, how. The key to a newly arrived colleague when you move on site, in a break room or cafeteria that! Email, phone or in person each other but it 's mostly work related has only asked,. Include complaining about the age difference is irrelevant telling HR about this to the. To support us in helping more readers like you 're not having good. Guy just did, thats all after 2 times hopefully he will get hint. Already know there is, and social dynamics to help people find love organizer, however choose! Still going foolproof ways to tell if shes into you based on how she around. Coffee take place on site, in a break room or cafeteria his,.
coworker asked me out for coffee