Recently we spoke after time a part and he said hed really change. When Im on call to family he interupts every time. He was blowing me off each and every time. he said its his karma for leaving me behind. That will show me he doesnt plan on committing for the long haul. I am an emotional person and I tend to cry. The first two years of the relationship he was wonderful. That bothers me because on his birthday I did get him a little something and also, called his sister to get his favorite chocolate cake and chocolate icing recipe of his moms who is deceased. Write in your journal or diary, or share in the comments section below. I was very prioritized in his life before but now he does not want to place me as high on his priority list anymore. He said he was torn and worried about Coronavirus. Were both in college and when we started dating we were together all the time, we went out together with friends, we watched movies, etc. He is mechanical and can fix many things. Especially no Valentines or birthday. We have complete separate paths in store and we have absolutely nothing in common and we also live together but we barely see each other so you would think that when we do have time for one another he would enjoy the time he has with me but it doesnt feel like that. Tinder is amazing, by the way. I think this self reflection is important to ensure I dont repeat this again. We are doing thanksgiving together. This yr it was Quarantine and so he always wanted to have his own anime character and I made it after puting so much efforts. Youre worth someone who is your equal. Ive held up my end and have been a loving girlfriend but Im not getting much back, but am also afraid of being alone. Letting Go of Someone You Loveisnt about getting over it. Letting go doesnt mean forgetting, pretending you didnt lose an important relationship, or guarding your heart so you dont get hurt again. I went back to check on him and he was online for like a minute..(Thinking he was asleep I left sweet messages for him to read when he wakes up. i asked if he was going to write in his and he flipped his lid. Hi Angela, Well Im no expert with relationships. But he laughed at me. He called and asked me to come and get himwhich I did. Thats the only way you will know how he truly feels. You, me, and probably thousands of other girls are in the same boat right now with the Coronavirus. I try to do something positive and you piss on it. Misery loves company, I guess, because I am so damn happy to know that someone else is suffering the same as me and now I dont feel just so alone. Thank you for being here, and for being so honest about your relationship difficulties! Maybe he always expects you to be waiting for him, ready to do whatever he wants. i cried a lot i asked myself will i love him back after knowing everything. ? line and starts listing all the nice things he did recently. It makes me feel like 1: he now feels a connection with this woman he does not with me and that is why he feels so contemptuous towards me all the time now 2: pissed off that he KNOWS it bothers me, is not able to understand why I feel that way and simply disregards my feelings maybe even doing it on purpose?? even on weekends, hes always busy. WebiStock. I do still love him, and have a lot of nice moments with him, and great memories. COMPROMISE but just be sure its not all on your side. I didnt even realise I was expecting the bare minimum until it hit me while I was laying in bed after he hadnt messaged me all day because he was busy playing his game. I dont always have it my way though because hes dealing with personal problems that have stretched for months. he is such a mystery. We live in one of the coolest states in the world, Orlando Fl. It confuses us because we know the love ie there. I make sure I put into the relationship as much as I get. This quarantine also suddenly ruined my relationship. im still inlove with him up to now but i feel so tired understanding him and ive been unhappy throughtout the relationship. Hey babe! I dont feel like I really know him at all. There is little to no effort from my boyfriend and every time I try to communicate that with him nothing changes. Its just hard because he watches my son while Im at work and my sons dad is working out of town for a month on and a week off. When I got back to our dorm that night I ft him and told him it felt right but It was also an accident. If youre last on your boyfriends list of priorities, then you need to stop wondering what to do when he makes no effort in your relationship. He was pursuing and attentive at first, expressed that he wanted a committed monogamous relationship, and did little things like bringing me gifts, making sure I had water at night when I stayed over, giving me a sweatshirt of his to wear in the morning, just little attentive kind things. HI CHRIS, MY BOYFRIEND ALSO DRINKS A LOT. The beginning of our relationship was heaven, as what most relationships are. If I dont ask him are we seeing each other today? My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 5 years. We talk on the phone usually three times a day. He makes money but spends his money on the wrong thing. So hes stopped making an effort because it doesnt matter. We have amazing communication, we text all day everyday, see each other at least 1-2 days a week, we dont argue much, our sex life is greatMaybe its just because this is my only problem that it feels like a big deal? Hi! I met my boyfriend at work. That will drive you crazy too. She threatened to send my bf to jail idk how tho. Let YOU be your super woman! Mildly work related topics but no reason for the call other than chat and vent. I help him with college work a lot, and he often expresses to me how he feels so much calmer and relaxed when were together (which is true because his mood just completely changes and hes always so happy). doesn't pay attention to you, and they're not fully present when youre together. Maybe not right now but sooner than 5 years from now, of that I am certain. What should I do? Im slowly giving up but everytime i try to let go he acts like he rlly loves me and he wants me back. Best to all! He is so passive. But you have to become selfless. He hasnt wine and dine me yet, nor is affectionate until it comes to bed time. im going through the same thing my boyfriend will not text me nor will he call me when i text him again he reply and said his mother getting on his nerve he goes to her house to take care of her he said he been going through alot with his mom very upset but my thing is what about me where do i fit into your life i dont even know if were still in a relationship my daughter say dont text or call him we been together over a year hes 52 im 55 what should i do im lost, Ive been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. I would go on my off days when I wasnt in collehe classes or work. Thank You for sharing your story. Ive mentioned his lack of effort and he did take it on bored but recently Im seeing a slip into his old ways. So we decided to give it a try. I am right there with you and share very similar feelings. I am literally in the exact same position. the hard part is we have a very deep connection, we understand eachother, and have the best friendship any partner could have I have recently told him on a few occasions how unhappy I have become. He took care of me when they pulled my wisdom teeth and he offered his family as my family (my immediate family is in Mexico so I always had to spend the holidays alone). I love this guy so much but I dont know what else to do, I dont want to live without him we have gotten so serious pretty fast. I bought so much things to do for his birthday . We decided to move in together shortly after COVID began so I worked things out with my work and moved to his state. Do I deserve this? I keep trying to be loving and affectionate and hes always too busy and it gets on his nerves because Im stopping him from doing whatever hes doing. Also he NEVER wants to have sex so that concerns me too. He has never had a serious relationship so he doesnt know that we could have gone through it together. I wasnt looking but I found it. He needs a chill pill and a real wake up call and renewed investment in life vs his career. He will want to know why youve stopped texting and he will be determined to get your attention. Somehow I always felt that he did it because of something I did. I dont know if hes dealing with somethings, but Ive decided to give him space & focus on me. He has lost interest in everything. He has no end of time for himself. I bought him a journal for prompting thoughts of positivity and gratitude, He acted appreciative and was OK to do the morning and evening prompts. Especially since at the beginning thats when you have your honeymoon stage with the feeling of butterflies and the sweet words. He has learning and growing to do. Its been bugging me for a while but I finally decided to do something about the fact that he doesnt really seem to make an effort to see me. I just dont understand why he refuses to accept how I feel. I feel like it would be easier being single which I dont want cuz hes a great guy other wise. ive been always the understanding one. I question why after knowing what he knows, he wont even try to talk to me. But I understand coz hes really busy at work. but is a single text or a goodmorning too much to ask? Which was Im looking so bad I dont want neighbours to see me like this. Is he back with me to punish me or hes still holding back because of the break up and I just need to wait? Im 53, he is 51. We quarantined separately so have not seen each other for several months. It takes a lot of patience and time. Although he did not tell me this beforehand, we have been trying to work on these issues and improve our relationship. He expressed his anger in silence. Now he doesnt do any of those, and I miss how it was before. Especially for someone like me who is lonely all the time. Hes really bad at texting and sometimes we dont really talk on the phone cause he said he was tired. Especially because hes not an introverted person, he has a lot of friends he goes out with often to play board games or to bars. It isnt fair. Would you be better off without him? But anyway recently it just feels like hes not trying to be romantic or even putting much in, Ik our situation is very complicated and he is probably dealing with his dad still but I have to help my nana everyday and I still make time for him, send him cute messages like I made some welsh cakes I was thinking I could drop some off and give you a little peck as kind of a joke and he just replied with no dont do that. I think him doing that even though you have said you arent okay with it is extremely disrespectful and shows he doesnt care about your feelings. He never compliments me, from my perspective he only tells me when Im not doing something right. Hes a good guy but I dont know why he stopped trying. Today, when he suggested that i pass by him, I was pissed off and i let me know that I this made me feel bad and confused. yes, I did reply. He has some really great qualities and some sh**y ones. Also i didnt know if i could put this but yes I did give myself to him and it was my first time part of me regrets it and part of me doesnt but I promise it was legal but yeah. Crazy! But he never tells me how he feels when I ask. Honestly,I am fully aware I do not want a relationship with someone who acts like this and makes me feel this way, but I am in love with him and our relationship is great, when he gives 100% which I can not let go of, when right now its about 10%. Just know youre not the only one feelings this Im not sure what is going on because I confront him about it and he says he just hasnt been on his phone. Because honestly when I do he always comes back around. Last week he finally invited me over to his house after not seeing him for almost two weeks when he had his daughter. The middle of this relationship scale is a 5: youve been dating for a year or more, and you know each other fairly well. First, the more you push, the more he will pull back, because whatever his reason is, the pressure from you wont help. Were both in high school now. Hes doing it deliberately. Listen to your intuition, it never lies. We are ok, but I still do everything, I cook everything, he never cooks for me, I clean, washing, I get the shopping, he wont even take the bins out when I ask, because of my approach apparently. I decided to swipe right to see who he was. These tips actually worked. I am clearly the one putting any effort into the relationship where I think I have just made it too easy for him. I know that may seem shallow of me to care about social media that much, but its only because he posts every aspect of his life online and theres never anything about me? Now that family is gone and I have to build a new support system from scratch. It doesnt have to be a big, heavy relationship talk! He did go a bit out of the way for Valentines day but last week our first date night since my bday in Jan didnt go quite as well as hoped and as usual, despite saying well just finish where we left off later, that turned into never. He is a freeloader. That said, he told me hes doing a lot better now and hes still acting distant. Never happened. He never tells me anything until i find out or i discuss my issues. Required fields are marked *. Hi Beyza! I hope this helps! Been with my boyfriend 2 years.he told me he smokes pot, which than i said im not supporting your habbit (which i meant financially). But we continued texting and he just ghosted me. So I stated being more involved in his hubbies then usual and listening. Your email address will not be published. Apologize when wrong Be honest. But I have been through more than enough pain and tough times for my age and I really wanted to be of help because I can imagine what you must be going through. He was all amazing.. first few months showered me with flowers and gifts then slowly I started to see his true colours. He always makes his schedules according to his friends schedules and if I wanna spend any time with him I have to change my schedules. His daughter really likes me. Youre boyfriend seems like a catfish. I dont know if Im being dramatic but its just hard sometimes when you feel like you love someone more than they love you. It is almost like I was forcing him to show that he cared. I get 2-3 texts a day and I have to call him every few days just to hear his voice. How much do you know about his life, family, friends and job? Girl what? I got upset and she said she was done being friends with me so yeah that happened. Each weekend he has been helping his DJ friend ( his BFF), or going out with best buddies. Oh my goodness. You cant change your boyfriend. I sometimes wonder if my daughter was dating someone like him, if Id tell her to ditch him. Once in a while, I managed to do something to please him. In Feb it will be our 6 year anniversary. Im still waiting on unemployed from when I lost my ft job in Sept. My tuition for spring is late. I am insecure and scared because all my past relationships,Ive been either cheated on or dumped. Ladies lay back and observe. Its Valentines Day , I been with my boyfriend for 6 months. Feel like I am too grown for him. I appreciate when he does make effort and try to acknowledge it but it quickly goes away like he doesnt mean it. I feel like my house is just a hotel and he pays his family for meals but doesnt give me a dime. He did it once and that was it. For example, do you expect your boyfriend to text you five times a day or call you first thing in the morning and last thing before you fall asleep? I hope things get better. I dont get any attention unless Im the first one to initiate things. "It was hard taking the constant rejection." Start taking care of Yourself. What can i do to walk out of this toxic relationship? We spent four weekends together at his place and virtually every day together on a mutual project for a month. But in the last month, I have noticed that I am always initiating meeting with him, and he would suggest in the very same day or at the spare of the moment for me to pass by his place and we end up spending 2 hours or so with each other having sex and then I leave because one of us has a commitment. I got up today and did mine in bed, he continued browsing the web on his phone which is all he does now when we are together. 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